You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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