dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
