If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
ok first of all what the fuck
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
