There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
