Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
