im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
