Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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