Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
