He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize