I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
