the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
