You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
