I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
try to milk me bitch
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