where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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