it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
