I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
a search helicopter?!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
