The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
