My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
