hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So apparently I’m into choking now
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