Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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