I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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