I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
