Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I want a musical about memes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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