My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize