can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize