question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
