Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
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Do I have a choice?
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He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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