Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
