I wanna bring you to show and tell
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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