im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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