Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
