I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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