So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
