just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
