i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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