it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
