Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
