If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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