Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
