Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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