Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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