I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
