I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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