idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
