Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
