ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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