found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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