so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
