I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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