I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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