I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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