Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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