5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
