I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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