I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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