What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
