dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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