Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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