we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she told me i tasted like america
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
