We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
