i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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