I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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