She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
