she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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