Screwed.edu
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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