Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
