I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
