I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He better not be in your backpack
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
