How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
