Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
