Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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