plz talk dirty to me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
