Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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