I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
