Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sorry my hands just texted you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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