Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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