Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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